Saturday, July 19, 2008

The $5 Haircut

We've both gone for three months without cutting a hair on our heads. So the ad in the free paper from the Vermont Academy of Hair Styling that offered haircuts for $10 so that students would have an opportunity to learn their new skill on our heads seemed like a fairly good deal. The ad noted that the students worked under the guidance of professional instructors which gave me a sense of comfort.
So we made the appointments. And then we showed up. We were greeted by a rail-thin woman who wore the brightest red hair and the whitest face makeup. Mmmmm. Maybe a portent of things to come. But Tiffany came out and shook my hand. Jo landed with Andrea. Both of them seemed pretty normal. The student in the next booth had day-glo blue/purple hair and two nasty-looking studs through her bottom lip. Another girl had so many tattooes in interesting places that it was better than reading a magazine. All of the tattooes seemed to have a Gothic overtone to them. Not a good way to put geezers at ease.
Tiffany gave me an outstanding shampoo and skull massage. Almost as good as I remember getting in Phnom Penh from the hairstylist who always finished up by whispering in my ear "You very handsome man." This, of course, always guaranteed an extra dollar in her tip.
I asked Tiffany how many students were in the academy and she told me 80. But half of them are housed in the basement where they spend the first 500 hours of their training learning about the hair and the chemistry involved in the changing of color. She told me the 11-month course was coming to an end for her since she graduates in October. That, too, gave me some heart since she had some experience on the cutting room floor.
The instructor came by and asked her what she was planning. "He wants me to take an inch off," Tiffany told her. The instructor fluffed up my hair and told her to get to it.
The first cut was two and a half inches long. Mmmm. Should I stop her now? I didn't but I watched with some interest as 80 per cent of my hair dropped onto the floor in front of me. And still she kept clipping.
Ever single hair on my head met her scissors at least four times. She snipped and snipped. She stood back to see if it was even...and then she snipped again. I mentioned that I do like to part my hair on the left and she nodded and said she could see where the part fell. But there would be no part in my future. I now was moving quickly toward looking like some Roman emperor. It was beginning to look like I was a natural to join the Army.
Jo, sitting beside me was telling her hairstylist to clip a little more off. The instructor came by and told Andrea that she had left "a corner" and suggested how to improve that. So Jo was done and waited out at the front desk. But Tiffany still clipped away.
The instructor came over to see how she was doing. She asked what I thought and I said it was a pretty good haircut but I doubted I would need another until well into 2009. That's not a bad thing, of course. But I surely am glad I don't have to stay up in the North through the winter months for I would have a chill on the brain.
Tiffany finished me off, then she handed me her card with a "$5 off the first haircut" discount. So my $5 haircut, if amortised over the next eight months when I shall be growing my hair back, will be the cheapest haircut I've ever had.
She gave me extra cards to pass out to family and friends. But I can find no takers. Are they trying to tell me something?

2 comments:

Richard said...

Jill and I had a great laugh at your haircut experience but we were puzzled by your anxiety because your after look is positively youthful. I must say mate you are in great shape for one I haven’t seen for four years – either that or you are heavily made up.
Haircuts for me have always been more traumatic than dentists, because you are putting your faith in their scissorhands and hoping ton hell it all works out.
I had a regular salon I visited in Phnom Penh. Alighting from ‘our bicycle’ (do you remember that wonderful machine?) I was always greeted like a VIP. The treatment was a shampoo, full cut, scalp and neck massage, then a lovely girl sitting on high stool with a directional lamp, would gently shave my ears with a set of shaped blades. The whole lot cost me $2.
I never did get to have a real 50c PP street cut though, in the barber’s chair under the (banyan?) tree, mirror hung on the trunk, hair strewn about the ground, watchers and beggars lounging around. My colleague John Trezise who still lives there near-native, is always looking to save money and he has the courage to brave unsterilised cutters.
On the dental front, you talk about your Dr Pane. Jill and I were among many ex-pats who queued up to have bridging and crown work done by the team at the surgery of Dr Tith (pronounced Teeth of course) at $150 a pop (well it was in 04). Very impressive place, modern gear, dentists proudly German or Malaysian trained. Alas, they lacked the practical experience and I have recently had my three broken crowns replaced here in New Zealand at about the same price, surprisingly.
By the way, there is a design flaw in placing a comment on your Blog. You write the comment in the space provided, scroll down to send and then discover you have to sign up to Google mail first. While you are doing that, your brilliant prose vanishes.
So this is the second time I have composed the above in one day.
We are well, still no yacht but getting closer. Tell Jo that Jill has also taken up knitting.
Cheers for now.
Richard Woodd, Taranaki, NZ

Anonymous said...

agree with Richard - the "after" photo is great and you look terrific with short hair!

a colleague of mine makes it a habit to get his haircuts overseas. well, OK, he doesn't have a lot of it to cut. but, he has gotten some very good haircuts for $1 or less.

one of the best haircuts I've ever had was in China. a friend's boyfriend, who was a sculptor, cut hair just for the fun of working in a different medium. it was a terrific cut. didn't grow out too well, though :)