Things Looking Up

There is nothing in this world - nothing - I enjoy more than bargaining for a new car. It's what gets the juices pumping. Every synapse is firing, the give-and-take sparks energy. All-in-all I'm a pretty happy camper when it come time to negotiating. And I honed these skills with the Vietnamese and Cambodians and, yes, even the Namibians. But the Vietnamese are best when it comes to tough bargaining.

First, we had to dispose of the old Honda Accord. We gave that to the towing people, along with the title. They said they would crush the car because it was no use to man or beast. They simply didn't believe me when I told them this car would be rebuilt in Cambodia. I've seen it done, I told them.

So now we had a find a replacement car. This is not so easy when you have a requirement to tow that vehicle. Most Toyotas, Hyundais, Hondas and many domestic cars don't let you tow with all wheels on the ground.

We looked at a Chevy Cobalt and a Chevy HHR which met the requirement. It was pretty easy to squeeze down the price on these because General Motors is an eyelash away from going bankrupt. And that was a consideration, since warranty issues might come into play.

The salesman didn't want to let these fish off the hook since it was 100 per cent certain that we would be buying a car. But I said I needed to review the repair records and to read the reviews of both cars. When I did that on the Internet, it was impossible to proceed with the purchase. Both get a "mediocre" for reliability score from multiple sites. We transferred our affections back to Honda and the Fit seemed to meet our needs. We made contact on the Internet with various dealers and located new 2008 cars that were discounted. Then we drove to Sarasota, 25 miles south of us, to learn the only 2008 was sold an hour earlier. But the salesman had a fallback position: a 2007 Fit that had - wait for it - 1,494 miles. Those miles were driven by a little old lady. She died and her son brought the car back to the dealership. This was the perfect car from our point of view. So the haggling began. And then it ended in five minutes. The salesman had zero interest in negotiating. "This is the price, take it or leave it." he said. I said I was looking to make an offer of $2,000 less because it is a used vehicle but he was insulted. He didn't care. I suggested he put me with his sales manager and he refused. We left.

The sales manager phoned as we drove back north and we had a pretty good conversation about sales techniques in a crashing economy. He reduced the price some, but not enough. I told him we would think about it but there was an issue of trust that we'd have to struggle with.

Fortified with lunch, but sagging a bit from struggling in and out of our rental car with the massive back brace, we rolled into the Bradenton Honda dealership. We lucked out with an excellent salesman who had a sense of humor. But he still seemed to have a difficulty understanding the concept of serious negotiation. The Fit is a "hot" car right now because it is so fuel efficient. We danced around for a while on a 2007 Honda Fit. I asked to look at the car's manual to confirm that the older Fit could be flat towed and it instantly became clear this was not possible. Honda specifically prohibited the car from being towed for more than 20 miles at 30 miles an hour.

That moved us back to the brand, spanking new, 2009 Fit. There is no prohibition for towing it. Now we were 'way too expensive, of course. But he came down more than $2,000. In addition, he threw in the add-ons that came with the car and it started to look fairly attractive. He asked if there was anything to keep me from going ahead with the purchase.

"Here's my problem," I explained. "I have massive quantities of Scottish DNA, with transfusions of Vietnamese DNA and possible side strains of Chinese and Cambodian DNA. All these require that I perceive that I am getting an actual bargain. And I don't feel that way yet. So we need to see a little movement downward in the price." I told him I needed to see $300 off the bottom line. I told him I'm just an aging cripple, with a broken back, and I'm trying to do best by my bride.

He rolled his eyes and went off for a Coke or to the bathroom, or to check with some grand pooba of sales. I whispered to Jo that $200 off would be fine. He came back in and said the final stretch allowed him to come down $150. It's a deal, I said.

A couple of hours later, we drove home in our spanking new Fit.

All these financial seismic conditions have put a crimp in our plans to head for Alaska. We had budgeted $12-14,000 for that trip. The car ate all of that up (and more) so we think we will park and enjoy Florida's west coast for this winter. This will allow my back to heal...and for Jo's arm to be taken care of. It seems to be healing well. But we are not 100 per cent certain that all of the glass came out.

So the best laid plans of mice and men go down the drain. But we'll rise again.